The beginning

I'm not real sure where to start. A friend of mine told me that this would be a good way for me o express myself and talk about lots of everything.

Right now I'm at that point where I want to write but I don't really know what to say or how to say it.

Growing up I was always told to keep my mouth shut and when I didn't I got smacked or spanked for it. I never talked back, I was to afraid. My mom was very rough on me, even after she had told me she didn't want me. We now talk pretty regularly and see each other and everything is fine. She's also very sick right now. She's lucky to still be alive. The people who adopted me are horrible too. They are conniving and misleading. They claim to be devote Christians but Christians don't act like they do. Instead of forgiving me when I did wrong they scolded me and told me how bad of a person I am and that I'll never be anything else. The man did things to me that will haunt me forever. And no one believed me. When it happens twice in your life you don't trust. I don't trust mothers because all I've had are fake and liars. I don't trust fathers because they are also liars and snakes.

My Grandma and Uncle are about the only family I have. But their all I need. My uncle is married with two kids, so we've got a nice small family.

And now I'm married. And he is the greatest guy in the world. Yes like any other couple we have good days and bad. And of course we fight. I'm sure I'll post about those. But he loves me and I love him and that's all that matters. But being married has given me another family, a family that is real and doesn't act sneaky or mean. They love each other, their what a family should be.

Maybe someday I'll have my own little family. I'd be thrilled. Just not yet, there are a few things Brett and I want to do first. But it will happen.

I guess that's all for now... I've got some work to do.

xoxo