Changes

Things change daily...sometimes when we least expect, but others exactly when we want them to.

Changes have been good and changes have been bad... Some good ones are that I'm finally losing some of the weight I have gained, so far I've been able to lose 10 pounds. I still want to lose more though. I have learned to open up more, with a therapist and with my husband. Opening up has been good for me and has made me a much happier person. For the bad, only 3 weeks ago Papaw Byers passsed away. This was a hard moment for myself but very much for Brett. This is the first grandparent he has lost and it killed me to see him so upset. All of this pain and heartache brought back so many memories and nightmares for me. I wake up several nights scared. Scared because of other people that hurt me, snakes coming after me , and of being alone. My darling husband has been very understanding and is a constant reminder that I'm not alone and he will do everything he can to keep me safe. Especially from people that would want to hurt me.

These changes have affected me in several different ways. I get to a point where I think I am okay and then BAM something else comes up and its not okay anymore.  I'm hoping that as time goes on still all the pain will get easier and the changes more bearable, or more for the good.